Gem's Insights

This is the first time in years since coming here in America that I allowed Dennis, my hub by , to take a break, mmm, it’s actually more of a time-out! Lol! He’s in an H4 visa, what it simply means is that he can’t work, since he is my dependent.  It was a relief for me when he gave up his job as a seaman 4 years ago, because that was my dream – for our family to be together.  Good thing too, because that time our youngest was only 2 years old. Mimoi went to school at 4 years old because of the transition (we needed to move from one state to another).  I love that he is just at home, doing all house work, with no vices and just focused on us, his family. Though Dennis made productive use of his time by creating projects for the house, sometimes, there's really nothing to do, so he’d watch movies and tele-novelas all day! Lately, he opted to attend the early Mass, just so he’d be spared from our hustle and bustle of morning preparation ...

I heard or read somewhere that life will continue to give us lessons until we learn it. Two weeks after graduating from college, I was already teaching college students.    I was so idealistic, perfectionist and wouldn’t tolerate students who were cheating, talking while I was teaching and not doing their work. Ye s , I was really strict! Many of my former students would attest to that! The thing was even if I knew I needed to change, I continued on doing what I was doing because I was afraid if I lost my control, if I became friendly and acted my age (I was just 20 then!, some of my students were even older than me!), I felt my students wouldn’t respect me and may took advantage of my kindness. So I continued on with my demeanor; I pushed my students to meet my expectations! I abhorred cheating, if they did so (I was good at finding out; because all our activities were computerized), the next day they would find their names written in bold caps posted in t...

  When our desires are deep-seated, when we want something so bad, when we want our hopes and dreams to come true… what do we usually do?  Keep it to oursel ves or let the whole world know about it? My mom would always say that if you have plans, keep it to yourself. Let it be between you and God first, and when it comes to pass, then shout it out to the whole world! I’ve followed that rule from ever since. I even posted about it here . But really, what’s wrong with the picture of shouting out to the whole world your plans, goals, and dreams? Just thinking aloud, is it because if we let people know the desires of our h earts, if we allow people to know our goals and plans; if we permit ourselves to be heard, is it FEAR that really holds us back? Fear of people with negative vibes? Fear of people jinxing our plans? Fear of people who could take away our “power”? Lol!  OR is it more of an internal fear? Fear that if the plans don’t h...

When I started my work as a Special Ed Teacher here in America, it just felt natural. I mean, I was elated to be here, right? So I was just like a sponge, wanting to learn, wanting to do more, wanting to be more. One of the duties that we have to do is to pull out the student for testing. We need this so we would know the present level of performance of the student in the core subjects: Reading; Math; Writing. I enjoy doing this. I enjoy pulling out students and testing them. I think every time, I’d do this, I’d mutter to myself that I can just do this and this alone! Lol! I also like writing IEPs. IEPs are Individualized Education Programs for the students with needs.   This is done yearly to our caseload (students under our care). Fast forward to today. 4 years after. I’m testing kids. I’m checking IEPs for compliance. These are the only two major things that I do now.   Whatever our minds can conceive and believe, it will achieve!   ...

Our minds our powerful. Whatever we think, we create!   I remember it was summer time during my elementary days when my cousins had already learned how to ride a bicycle.  We didn't have any bicycle to use then. Every time I would see them enjoy riding one, there was this gushing feeling from within that I could do it too! My mind just seemed to shout, "You could learn to ride a bicycle too!", "Yes, you'll enjoy it too!!!", "It's easy!!!" Grabbing the opportunity, one lunch time, in the heat of the midday's sun, when everybody was busy eating. I borrowed the bike they were using and taught myself to ride a bike! On my own! After, like, the long 15 minutes of attempting, falling, trying again and again and again, I was finally able to balance myself and enjoy the ride! It was a freeing moment for me! In my mind, I knew I could do it, and I did! There were so many times after that experience that I'd tap in the ...

How old is old? So I called my 89-year-old friend again. She's at home, she said, working on her crossword puzzles. "I thought you joined the Senior Center?" I asked. She said, "Oh, it's not for me. They were too old for me!" Too old?! Lol! She is 89 years old!!! How old is old?!! Photo credit I guess, age is really just in the mind. Like everything else, it all begins in our mind! I was just browsing at some of our family pictures. You see, my husband and I just celebrated our 12 years of being married, and that means... well... 12 years!!! Oh my! Our eldest is already 10 years old, and she has grown big and tall! She was just a baby 10 years ago!!! and that would mean I've grown 10 years older since the day she was born. But, I feel like I haven't aged! Lol! It's all in the mind. Well, in my mind, I continue to be 27 years old! hehehe It all begins in our mind. If my 89 years old friend says Senior Center is ...

I don't like making future plans. Lol. Well, maybe, just maybe, I fear that if I make plans, it won't come true. Now, there goes the problem. FEAR. I know that very same fear, will actually create the very thing that I do not want, which is for my plans not happening! Erase, erase, erase. I honestly like making goals. Planning for the future. Envisioning things, places, events, people, dreams coming true. I like that. I just don't want to talk about it to a lot of people or even to a few, because those goals are actually sacred to me, I want it just between me and God. So I don't talk about it. BUT, I'm changing my mind, because, I just want to share it this time!!! Like I always said, my posts in this blog are only for those who are called to read it, Lol! Anyway, what's the BIG plan? Mmmm, I changed my mind again. Lol! .. Do you really want to know? Lol #justmessingwithyou  NAMASTE. -day 232

Funny.  My son, Mimoi, came home from school one day with a sticker on his shirt. I asked him, "What is this?" He told me, "Oh, the policemen came to our class.. but they didn't arrest us!" Lol! Talk about perception at an early age. It may have come from the movies he's watching and maybe, when he hears us say "the policeman is coming" when he is being naughty. He continued sharing his story about dialing 911 during emergencies and the need to buckle their seat belts when riding a school bus. It is nice to hear how excited he is to be in school again and gain new friends in the process. It has been 4 years now since they left Philippines and I know, though not intentional, I have deprived them of being with their grandparents and relatives and what "playing outside" experience really means... But, I know it's all for good.... For as long he lives a life of integrity, respect, courage and responsibility, for sure he...

I would like to believe that my experiences are simply because of pure luck or coincidences but are they really? I was wanting to eat Goldilocks polvoron, really simple story, lol! I asked my husband about, maybe, asking a friend to buy it for me, since she left to visit her family in the Philippines. Great timing, right? But, decided not to. The next day, guess, what happened? I visited one of the schools, I was assigned to, and was greeted by one of the Filipino teachers working there, out of the blue, she pulled out a plastic bag full of goodies and gave me Goldilocks polvoron!  Did I attract it? Mmm... Here's more: I was so sleepy and decided to sleep but I was afraid somebody might call me, so I turned my cellphone to a silent mode. Just minutes after I went to bed, somebody knocked on the door looking for me! How lucky could I get? If there are no coincidences... then, I guess, with just my THOUGHTS I was able to attract the simple Goldilocks polvoron ...

  "The only way that I will ever be great to myself is not what I do to my body but what I do to my mind." - Ramtha from the documentary "What the bleep do we know". Hey, it's all about infinite possibilities, how powerful our mind is and how our thoughts can become our reality. I remember being scared of just the thought of "infinite possibilities" - since it also equates to anything can happen...AS IN, anything! Just like an ocean full of possibilities, vast, large, powerful.. scary! I know I can just focus on the positive extremes but knowing there is the negative extreme too can be "goosebumps-maker" indeed! Nonetheless, I think cleansing our thoughts of negativity and addiction matter a lot too! Our bodies are basically the manifestation of our very own thoughts. Our bodies may already be telling us something, and we are still not aware of it, until the last-minute... we may already be feeling its effects but have for...

So, what if after following "..whatever-your-mind-can-conceive-and-believe, it-will-achieve" mindset and just tried to focus on what we want, STILL the result isn't what we want?  What will we do next.. and how come it didn't work? Well, I've just read THE SECRET by Rhonda Byrne book again, and interestingly, my question, just got answered: Quoting from the book, page 146:  Don't become mesmerized by the pictures that have appeared if they are not what you want. Take responsibility for them, make light of them if you can and let them go. Then think new thoughts of what you want, feel them and be grateful that it is done. Now, here's my point of view: Maybe, just maybe, it didn't happen because for a thing to manifest, it actually needs our emotions in it. The feeling of being happy about it.. the feeling of ecstasy.. because we really want it! .. and another rule of the thumb is never to ever let any negative thoughts come into play. No neg...

 Remember the 88 years old? http://gemsdaily.blogspot.com/2011/12/not-too-late.html and her reminders? http://gemsdaily.blogspot.com/2012/01/meet-88-year-old.html Not too late... My stories: She's 89 years old - Part 1 She's 89 years old - Part 2 She's 89 years old - Part 3 NAMASTE. -day 223 to 225

First thing this morning, I decided to drop by her school, to hopefully sit down with her again, to, maybe, if we could, finish her very first IEP preparation for this year. She wasn't there. Not too late... I was thinking, maybe she was sick or maybe caught up with family issues, but no. She has finally decided to retire, yesterday. Her co-teachers shared how she has been crying the whole time yesterday. I just felt sad for her. I was not sure what she really wants, or maybe, she's just left with no choice. She's old. I  was not sure what to feel. I felt numb. I did feel relieved about the news, about her freed from doing all the computer work at 89, and yet I just suddenly missed her. Deep inside, she actually reminded me of my late grandmother. During my elementary and high school years, I would just visit Mama, I'd watch whatever old Tagalog movie she'd be watching in the television and at 3 o'clock, we'd pray the 3 o'clock habit. We ...

So, I asked her, "Why did you come back?" She said, "Maria, there's nothing to do. What will I do?" I said, "Well, enjoy life!, you're 89, it's about time you go and enjoy!" She said, "If I can only go back (to her hometown), but there's just a flood of memories there. All my friends have died. There's nothing left do. Anyway, I love where I am, I enjoy where I am!" I said, "Ok, but you will still do your IEPs.", with a smile. She said, "Never!" and we both laughed. Meet the 88 year old... I love being with her. It was fun just sitting in her classroom as she continues to strive to dominate her students with her smart remarks. She's passionate with what she's doing, no matter how limited, if compared to what a freshman teacher could do. But, she remains, undeterred. She's the teacher, students must follow what she says, would always be her stand. I actually have grown fon...

I felt fed up by just thinking of doing IEPs the whole year again, since she has decided to come back to school. She's 89 years old, and even though she blatantly told me that she was thinking of maybe, resigning, she didn't. She was back to school. Not too late... Being with her was a different story though. I like being with her. I like her company. I like sitting in her classroom when we work together. I worked with her last year for the whole year, and this year seemed a different story. I really don't like the idea anymore of her still doing IEPs at her age. It was just too much! .. and since she was being paid to do it, as a Special Ed Teacher, she needed to do what she was paid to do, irregardless of her age, of course. As an IEP Facilitator, I was also doing what I was supposed to be doing -to support her in doing her IEPs, even if it meant the whole year round, to all her case load, and guiding her in every button of every part of every page of the...

Dear God , Today, I am just grateful for the wonderful years You've given me. Looking back, it's all good! You continue to amaze me, Lord! Thank You for the many stories of my life. Thank You for the opportunity to learn lessons from it, to share and to inspire in my own way. You've held my hand each night I walk alone in the dark ( Holding Hands story) You've given me a hand to hold my sweaty ones! ( Sweaty Hands story) You've given me life. Thank you Daddy and Mommy ! Thank You for the gift of family, relatives, friends, work and relationships. Thank You for Your compassion, Your faithfulness and Your miracles.   I'll continue to stand by You once more as You share with me the wonders of Your love,  Your omnipotence and Your abundance. Mmmm... I'm claiming all my birthday wishes this year Ok? Lol! ;) With all my heart and soul Lord God, THANK YOU! :)) AMEN. -day 222

I could still remember the phone call I received almost two years now. I was driving on the way home when the cell phone rang. I wasn't supposed to pick it up but the number was coming from New Mexico. There was just this feeling that it was from the school I applied just a week ago online. True enough, it was the Assistant Principal in-charge of Special Education calling me. I immediately maneuvered the car to the right to a halt. "Yes Sir, I am still very interested in the position" ( really interested !), I answered when asked if I was still available and interested in the Special Ed position. He said, he will go to the District Office to get my files, I blurted, "Yes Sir, please do that." ( super determined! lol! ) He called me up again the next day ( sign of real interest! right? ) to schedule an online phone interview. I was delighted! I decided to go on a half-day leave ( preparation.. ) since I wasn't sure how long the interview will last,...

I love things to be in order. I remember when I was in high school - especially during exam week, I would make my own week-end schedule. Time and activities were listed and followed!! I forgot what time I'd start but I believe it was something like this: 7:30 Wake up 7:30-8:30 Eat, Take a bath 8:30-9:30 Math 9:30-10:00 Rest 10:00-11:00 English 11:00-12:00 Science 12:00-1:00 Lunch 1:00-3:00 Sleep 3:00-4:00 Social Studies 4:00-5:00 Rest 5:00-6:00 Math 6:00-7:00 Dinner 7:00-8:00 Math 8:00-9:00 English 9:00 Sleep As if I was in school, only more rigid!  It was only half day of school during exam week (if I remembered right), so I followed my created weekday schedule too. It has been a habit already. My study habits, and it sure did work! Now, after, OMG, a very long time! I'm back to studying again. Only this time, I'm no longer 14 years old who depends upon my parents for food, shelter, clothing, everything!  This t...

I was just given a name and a schedule of a student that was added to my caseload (we call students we work with (with special needs), our caseload). So, I went ahead and looked for the new student. He was in the Math class, he was seated at the far side of the room, his hood was up, and head bent down. I asked the teacher if I can pull him out for testing, she said yes, and told me that when she first met him, she knew he has needs. I approached him and asked him to come with me. That was the start of my services with him.  He was 15 years old then, a freshman, a transferee. We learned later after receiving his Sped documents, weeks after, that he was actually given educational services, his whole life, in a segregated setting! Since we didn't know, he has been placed in a non-segregated setting the whole time (in inclusion class)! At that time he was reading at a Kindergarten level when I tested him.  He was enjoying his new environment and the...

Since I already bought my baking ingredients: all-purpose flour, bread flour, baking soda and baking powder; I also have packs of active yeast, bottle of vanilla essence and baking pans, measuring cups and spoons, I have decided to make use of it! Lol! And here's my next output! - Banana Bread! I just followed the recipe found in the net. It was gone an hour after baking! Maybe, it did taste good! Lol! Here's what I did: I combined the dry ingredients first. I used 2 cups of flour, 3/4 cups sugar, 1tsp salt, 1 tsp baking powder (I think this should be baking soda, not powder! Lol) and I think I can manipulate the amount of flour and sugar in it. (right? Lol!) Then I mixed all wet ingredients: 2 pcs of raw eggs, 1/2 cup oil (shortening or butter will work too, I think, hehe), 1 cup of mashed banana (I used 3 ripened bananas) and 1 tsp vanilla essence. After that, I put it all together, until it felt like it will do! Lol! Then I sprayed some o...

The real story. Lol. At 24 and still single, my friends and I decided it was time to start dating. The great thing about it was we actually got to eat for free, and saved some bucks on transportation. Lol. But yes, we were actually very decided on having a relationship already. And so we dated. There were some guys who were passed on from one to another. Lol! (Well, for obvious reasons, like, the guy was generous, but not her type, but since he was generous, might as well, check him out too! .. and so - happy-tummy! hahaha) I am not sure if the Universe conspired with us, when we declared to ourselves and to each other that "This is it! We will start dating and we will find ourselves a boyfriend!".  I think the declaration mattered most! Lol! Why? because it happened. We all got into relationships that same year! It was as if, meant to be. But, not until we were decided to let it happen. Until then, it was just a thought- when we decla...

 It has been years since I tasted PANDESAL (Salt Bread) again,  so when a friend here in Gallup made one, I knew I just have to learn how to do it too! The first try was good enough!  I followed panlasangpinoy's recipe but then I am not sure if it was kneaded correctly,  but still good enough! Lol!  I started preparing at 11:30pm, I finished at 2:00am. I was that excited! 1st attempt. Kids loved it! The next try was with friends, I decided on the amount of milk, sugar, and mixing of the wet ingredients first, prior to mixing it with the mixed dry ingredients. It was kind of success!  There were four of us, one prepared the yeast mixture, the other one prepared the wet mix (milk-butter-egg), while the other one mixed the dry ingredients (flour, sugar, salt, baking powder) and kneaded the dough. While the other one took photos and ate! Lol! Here's our product prior to baking it! Another friend who has been ...